Beautiful

It's amazing how fucking stupid humanity can be.

You don't ever realize how much it surrounds you and flows through you until some random event makes you sit up and say "Now 'ang on a minute!"

We go through life kicking others when they're down and judging others by some set of standards that are pounded into our brains from birth. How is it that other-wise wonderfully interesting and beautiful people go off and shoot their peers or blow their brains out or simply live to destroy themselves and others around them? It's us. We do it to each other.

A few days ago, a girl at my work threatened to kill herself. She accidentally imparted this information by saying it to herself in Spanish when I was sitting next to her. She wasn't really sure if I spoke Spanish or not. I did. I had spent the past few months basically brushing this girl off like she was the lowest of the low. Some stupid piece of dirt, some bint who din't know which way was up. I started talking to her that day, and I felt like shit afterwards. She's an extremely intelligent person with so much of a history, it's amazing. I continue to talk to her every day, looking foward to our lunch hour where we can talk about anything from philosophy to that time the fry cook fell on his ass while trying to do some stupid dance.

As much as I like to say I'm not prejudice or that I treat everyone equally or how I'm open-minded, I'm just as bad as everyone else. Hopefully, I'll learn from this experience and look deeper into the people who walk around me. Everyone is interesting enough to notice.

I'm not sure, but I think she seems happier now. She's moved out of her abusive mother's house and she seems to be doing all right. She's invited me over for some tea and some soccer, two things we both love. Hopefully a new friendship will form over some Manchester United and a nice cuppa.

I'm Under Your Spell

Well, I have a new link you can visit if you want. It's all about Buffy, so if you don't like it, don't come. If you do. Come here.

I'm doing this because a)I said I would and b)I'm lonely and I need someone to talk to.

This is Planet Earth

Happy Earth Day.

Today is the day that we celebrate the great goddess: Nature. Now whether you believe in multiple deities, One Great Deity, or nothing at all, Nature is one to be revered. Nothing is more powerful, loving, or nurturing. So please, as you would take care of a loving mother, take care of our Earth. Here are a few things you could do today:

1. Gather a team or go solo and pick up the trash around your neighborhood.
2. Plant a few trees.
3. Start a garden. Nothing makes you feel closer to Mother Earth.
4. Have lunch in a park instead of a restaurant.
5. Start recycling.
6. Go to the Beach.
7. Go Hiking.
8. Spread the word.

There are tons of things you can do this Earth Day or any other day of the year. Please don't neglect this earth. You don't have to be a Hippy to appreciate nature.

What the Future Holds

As a Roman Catholic, I am obliged to mentioned our new Pope, Benedict XVI. There. He's mentioned. Let's hope he doesn't turn out to be a complete bastard.

Also, as an avid reader of Scaryduck's website, I feel I am also obligated to type the word cunt. Now, I am one step closer to being mentioned on the list of websites on Google under the word 'cunt'.

Make that two steps.

Surrender to the Void

I'm trying to be productive. I got a bit done. I cooked one day. I did an assignment the next. But everytime I start to be productive, something holds me back. Some unseen force has me lie in bed staring up at the ceiling. I don't go to work, I don't eat, I don't watch TV or do homework. I just sit there in bed either sleeping or staring.

It's actually starting to scare me. I don't know if I'm depressed. It sure doesn't seem like I'm sad. At least not as sad as normal. Actually, if anything, things are going really well for the moment.

So why can't I do anything?

A Cheap Holiday in Other People's Misery

Another day, another month, and all I've got is bitching. Oh, life is hard. I have no money. Everyone hates me...blah blah blah.

I wanted to spare you people of all that crap so I ended up not posting for some time. I'm sure I lost whatever few readers I had, but for my own sake, I'll keep on writing.

A lot of things have happened over the course of the last month. I left my old apartment and moved in with my parent[s]. My step-father decided it was a good idea to leave my mother, the bastard. There have been lots of pieces of broken hearts lying about the place, so I've been deciding to lie in bed while someone else does the mending for me. It ain't gonna happen. What was it that Paul McCartney said? "You're waiting for someone to perform with..." Which is exactly what I'm doing. "But don't you know that it's just you?" Yeah, I guess so.

Before I go, I'll leave you with a favorite poem of mine that has absolutely nothing to do with the above text, but I think it's a pretty neat little thing. Now, I have to go do some research on English women in the Victorian period for my part in The Importance of Being Earnest.

Theodore Roethke
The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.